A Resolve to be better

Lately I feel like I just keep on offending or hurting peoples feelings. I know, I know, its not the first time I have said something like this. I just really need to lay it all out on the table again...How I feel that is.

First of all I want to be a little kinder about my "spilliness" (as Amelia and I call it). No I don't want to change I know its part of the way I am (just saying whatever is on my mind), but I just want to be kinder with the way I do it. I believe I feel inclined sometimes to just talk and talk and talk instead of just sitting back and not only keeping my mouth shut sometimes, but being a better listener to my friends. I truly truly want to work on this. I know nobody is perfect and we really cant be too hard on ourselves (or anyone for that matter), but I want to try and if you notice me in conversation with you and I am a little quieter than usual, please don't think anything is wrong, I'm just trying not to be so much of a "Chatty Cathy". Also if you notice I am not keeping my mouth shut and I am being "spilly" and a little rude as the old me has been, PLEASE forgive me and know that I may have a lapse every now and again.

Second of all what I want to be better at (Ironically) is really saying whats true and not being afraid of it, but being honest and kind and just true to myself and others.

The crazy thing is I just don't know how to do the both of these. My dear sweet husband is such a good example to me. I notice that I like to think and talk much faster than him and at times when we are conversing together he will take a moment (sometimes a LONG moment) to just pause and think in mid conversation. I usually get frustrated and I say "Aren't you going to say something" and he just says "I'm just trying to think about what I want to say". Really, there is nothing wrong with this. Its funny ya know because Jay tends to say that I am the more patient one in our marriage with other things, but with this matter, he is definitely the more patient one.

So, anyway. Sorry if I was a bit too jabbery even here on this blog entry, but just like many of us bloggers, this is my journal ya know and I really needed to blog out my feelings in my journal tonight. And if in the meantime it helps my friends understand my true intentions better, than by all means, I hope it does.